


Suikotsu The Platypus and His Boys, a European Vacation Story

by StormyRose97



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale, Phineas and Ferb, The Muppets - All Media Types
Genre: Attempted Murder, BDSM Scene, Bankotsu joins the Russian mafia, Best Friends, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack and Angst, Dark Crack, Europe, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Gang Violence, Jakotsu and Miss Piggy are friends, Jealousy, Kind of an au?, Muppets (Muppets), Paris (City), References to the Muppets, Renkotsu becomes the world's first tiny mechanic, Russian Mafia, Shichinintai | Band of Seven, Suikotsu is Perry the platypus, Time Travel, german bdsm scene, gulag, lost friend, unlikely friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:35:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27502396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyRose97/pseuds/StormyRose97
Summary: The band of seven called a truce with the InuYasha gang, and worked together with them to defeat Naraku.  As the groups are preparing to go their separate ways, something happens.  After developing a strange, new, platypus-like personality, Suikotsu falls down the bone eater's well!  Will the rest of the band of seven ever track down their missing friend?
Kudos: 2





	1. Naraku's Death

**Author's Note:**

> This Chapter is kind of a prequel to the actual story. It's just a basic rundown of how all of this started.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inuyasha and Bankotsu decide to call a truce

Chapter 1: Naraku’s Death  
InuYasha saw Renkotsu approaching a wounded Jakotsu, he hid in the shadows and watched.

“Forgive me Jakotsu.” Renkotsu reached for Jakotsu’s neck, he was going to kill him for his jewel shard. 

InuYasha jumped out and attacked Renkotsu. He may not have liked Jakotsu but he was not about to let him be killed by his own teammate.

“WIND SCAR” 

“Oh shit.” Renkotsu ran away as fast as he could and managed to evade InuYasha’s wind scar.

“Coward,” muttered Inuyasha. “Are you alright Jakotsu?” 

Jakotsu was passed out in a pile of rubble, but he was still breathing. Duh, thought InuYasha, he has a jewel shard in his neck. InuYasha smacked himself in the face, “If I leave him Renkotsu will just come back for his shard. I guess I’ll have to carry the bastard out of here.”

InuYasha left the cave, carrying his wounded enemy. He tracked Kagome’s scent and found her, Shippo, Kirara, and the wolves where he had left them, at the base of Mt. Hakurei. 

Kagome gasped. “Is that Jakotsu?!?!?! InuYasha, what’s going on here? What happened?”

“I hit him with my wind scar, but he survived. The dumbass begged me to kill him but he wasn’t able to move and I don’t play dirty. As I was leaving Renkotsu showed up, he was going to kill Jakotsu for his shard, so I attacked. He got away though, and if I had left Jakotsu there he would’ve just come after his shard again. Koga, I want you to take care of things here. I have a fight to finish” 

InuYasha left Jakotsu and followed the scent that he recognized as Naraku, but someone stopped him on his way there.

“Goddamn it, Bankotsu get out of my way. I know Naraku is in there and I’m going to kill him, and if you don’t leave right now I’ll kill you first.”  
InuYasha and Bankotsu fought, but it wasn’t long before Bankotsu noticed the demons guarding the cave. He was finally going to gain the power he had been after for all these years. 

“ONE THOUSAND” he had killed his thousandth demon. Banryuu began to glow.

“Bankotsu, that sword is surrounded by demonic energy, get rid of it now if you know what’s good for you!”

“AND WHY SHOULD I TRUST YOU???? WHAT MOTIVE COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO SAVE ME?????? YOU ONLY WANT TO GET ME AWAY FROM MY BANRYUU BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT IF YOU CAN YOU’LL BE ABLE TO KILL ME!!!!”

InuYasha sighed, “Maybe because I know what it’s like to want power. I’ve been in your position Bankotsu and it doesn’t lead to anything good. My obsession with becoming a demon got me and the woman I love killed.”

Bankotsu paused for a moment and listened to what he had to say. “InuYasha, I want you to tell me everything you know about Naraku.”

“Well for starters, he’s using you and your friends. If you manage to kill me, his next move will be to take your shards back. He’ll kill you. Get out of here Bankotsu, this fight is over. I’m going to kill Naraku.”

“I’m going with you.”

“What did you just say?!?!?!”

“Let’s get out of this cave, get our friends, and take him out together. No one is going to take this renewed life from me. Until we kill Naraku at least, you and I are allies.”

The two of them made it back to the base of the mountain. 

“Jakotsu!!!!! What happened?!?!? What did you do to him?!?!?!?”

Koga was annoyed by the accusation. “Hey! We’ve been protecting your weird friend you disgusting corpse! It’s beyond me why he did it but the mutt saved his life. Apparently that bastard Renkotsu tried to kill him.”

Bankotsu looked at InuYasha surprised, “you saved him?”

“Don’t think that means I like him or nothin’ I still think he’s annoying as hell. I just didn’t think he should die that way.”

Jakotsu started to open his eyes. “What happened? Where am I?”

“Jakotsu! InuYasha saved you. Are you alright? Can you move? “

“InuYasha did! Oh InuYasha thank you! This is a dream come true.”

InuYasha rolled his eyes. “I should’ve let you die.” 

“Jakotsu, we’re calling a truce for now. Naraku intends to kill us so we are going to kill him first. InuYasha intends to kill him as well so we’re going to work together. Do you know where Suikotsu and Ginkotsu are?”

“Suikotsu turned into the doctor after that priestess shot him. He’s probably back in the village. I assume Ginkotsu is protecting Renkotsu because he knows that he betrayed us.”

Kagome stood up. “Alright, I’ll go to the village and find Suikotsu.” Kirara transformed and flew off with Kagome on her back.

“So, what are we doing about Renkotsu?” InuYasha asked.

“He’s obviously after jewel shards. He’s bound to come after Naraku on his own. There’s no point in looking for him. We’ll let him live at least until we defeat Naraku, after that it’s up to Jakotsu.” Bankotsu looked at Jakotsu who was still laying on the ground. “What do you wanna do about him?”

“A hideous old man like him would be no fun to kill. He can be someone else’s problem from now on.”

"I know a guy that can get rid of him if you want." Shippo chimed in. 

"Who is it? Since when do you have friends?" Inuyasha teased.

Shippo started crying “KAGOMEEEEEEEE I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP AND INUYASHAS BULLYING MEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

Inuyasha hit Shippo hard on the head. “Kagome ain’t here right now so you better shut the hell up you little brat.”

Shippo cried harder. "WELL MAYBE I’LL SEND MY FRIEND AFTER YOU, INUYASHA!"

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes. “And just who is this ‘friend’ of yours anyway?”

Shippo sniffled "wouldn't you like to know!"

Inuyasha hit him again. “Tell me now!”

"Ow! Okay fine!" Shippo shouted. "it's this old guy that makes cool ninja gadgets!!"

Bankotsu looked annoyed. “If Jakotsu doesn’t want to kill him then we don’t have to. It would just be extra work anyway, but if the brat knows someone who can make weapons I’m going to need to know where I can find him because I’m not going to just abandon my banryuu but I’m also not going to let it kill me.”

“What about master Totosai!” Shippo yelled.

Inuyasha hit Shippo. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!?! That old fart makes dangerous weapons Shippo, and who can say how long it will be before these guys start trying to kill us again?” 

Just then Kagome showed up. “I found Suikotsu!”

“Oh no, that man looks hurt!” Suikotsu ran over to Jakotsu. “Here, I’m a doctor, let me help you.” Suikotsu gave Jakotsu medicine and bandaged his wounds.

Inuyasha stood up. “Alright, now that everyone’s here, let’s go kill Naraku.”

The group walked towards the mountain, ready to finally end Naraku’s fifty years of tormenting innocent and not so innocent people.


	2. A Continuing Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naraku's dead so uh, what now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
> Objectification of men

A Continuing Truce

After a long battle, and with a little bit of teamwork, Naraku had finally been defeated. Kohaku, Kagura, and the band of seven were all free from Naraku’s grasp. Miroku’s wind tunnel was gone, and he could finally let himself be in love with Sango. Renkotsu returned to the band of seven, promising to be Jakotsu’s personal assistant if Bankotsu spared his life. Bankotsu and Inuyasha decided to keep their truce, on the terms that the band of seven only kill those who can defend themselves, and that Inuyasha’s group not interfere with their kill, as well as provide them with food now that they could not slaughter for money.

“What’s taking that old man so long? I thought you guys said he was a master swordsmith.” Bankotsu rolled his eyes.

“It’s gonna take some time dumbass, you really messed up your weapon with that spell or whatever the hell it was you did to it, and can you tell that guy to quit staring at me?!?!.” Inuyasha growled back.

Jakotsu was sitting about three feet away from Inuyasha staring intensely at him while drooling a little bit.

Bankotsu sighed, “Jakotsu, Inuyasha is our ally now. You can’t cut him up. Why don’t you tell Renkotsu to find you a stronger, more attractive guy?”

“HEY” Inuyasha yelled.

“Where is Renkotsu going to find someone cuter than my darling Inuyasha?” Jakotsu whined with a sad look on his face.

“STOP OBJECTIFYING MEN!”

“Your darling Inuyasha doesn’t seem all that interested in you, so why don’t you leave him alone!?!?” Kagome went bright red when she realized what had just come out of her mouth. Now everyone knew about her ‘secret’ crush on Inuyasha!

“Stay out of this, woman.”

Renkotsu looked amused.

“What’s so funny asshat? You're the one who’s gonna have to find Jakotsu a replacement for Inuyasha.” Bankotsu looked at Renkotsu, annoyed by how much he was enjoying this.  
“I TOLD YOU TO STOP OBJECTIFYING MEN!!!”

“Inuyasha, I don’t think anyone here cares about- OUCH” Inuyasha punched the stupid looking little fox child hard on the head.

“Inuyasha, sit boy!”

“HEY WHAT WAS THAT FOR!”

“You can’t just pick on Shippo like that! He’s littler than you!”

“Yeah you jerk!” 

Inuyasha growled.

Just then a loud “MOO” came from the sky.

“WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT THING?!?!?!?”

“That’s your sword,” Inuyasha rolled his eyes at Bankotsu.

The cow landed and an old man hopped off with Banryuu over his shoulder. “Alright, which one of these mortals did the weapon belong to again?”

“That would be me.”

“HAHAAHAHHAAAAA” Totosai could not contain his laughter. 

“What’s so funny?” Bankotsu scowled.

“A little kid like you couldn’t possibly have wielded a heavy weapon like this! Now where’s the real owner?.”

Bankotsu was pissed, “I AM THE REAL OWNER YOU FREAK NOW GIVE ME MY BANRYUU!!!!”

Totosai looked at Myoga, “Is he serious?”

“Yes and he’s incredibly strong for a mortal, so you ought to show some respect. Even master Inuyasha was unable to defeat him.”

Totosai looked surprised. “Alright, uh, here you go.” He threw the Banryuu to Bankotsu. “I did the best I could, but it will still need purification to be completely relieved of its demonic aura. I trust Kagome will be able to handle it?”

“I can do it!” Kagome said, determined to prove herself. “Here Bankotsu, pass it to me, I promise I’ll get it back to normal.”

“You’re not going to be able to hold it. I’ll sit it down somewhere.”

“Okay.”

Soon Banryuu was back to normal, it took significantly longer than it would have if it had been Kikyo purifying it, but Kagome still managed to fix it so it doesn’t matter, right?

“Alright, it’s all done.”

“Finally! I missed you Banryuu!” Bankotsu hugged the sword, scratching himself a bit in the process.

“So uh, no thank you?” Kagome narrowed her eyes.

“Good work Kagome, thanks for fixing my Banryuu.”

“Oh there’s no need to thank me!”

“Okay, then I take it back.”

Kagome scowled.

“Anyway, there’s no point in us sticking around anymore. You guys ready to go?” Bankotsu looked over to his friends, one of whom was acting a bit strange, and by strange I mean stranger than usual.

Suikotsu was crawling around on all fours making some kind of gurgling/growling noise. “Guhghghhughguaghugguguguguguh.”

“Suikotsu, are you okay?!?!?!” Jakotsu screamed.

“What’s the matter Suikotsu?!?!?!” Bankotsu tried to say calmly, but he really didn’t sound calm at all.

Suikotsu crawled his way over to a well and fell into it “GUGHGUGGHGGGUGGGUGUAGGUGUAGAGUAGUAUGGGUGGGGG!!!!!!!!!”

“OH NO!!!!!!” Kagome screamed.

Bankotsu and Jakotsu looked down the well, but they couldn’t see their friend anywhere. They looked at each other concerned. Where was Suikotsu?

Kagome grabbed the jewel shards from Inuyasha and leaped down the well. She vanished! What the hell was going on here? Why were people disappearing in this well?

“Inuyasha?”

“Yeah?”

“What exactly is going on with that well?”

“Well, from what Kagome has explained to me, it leads to a place called Tokyo. Kagome says it’s in the future. I’m guessing that because Suikotsu has a jewel shard he was able to activate the well and travel to Tokyo.”

“Alright, you heard the man, our jewel shards will allow us to follow after him. Let’s go.”

Ginkotsu looked at the well that was definitely too small for his mechanical body to fit into. “Gersh?”

“Sorry Ginkotsu, it looks like you’ll have to wait here.”

Ginkotsu lowered his head, “gersh,” he said sadly.

“Don’t worry buddy,” Jakotsu said, “Renkotsu will be back soon, and I’m sure he’ll bring you lots of futuristic souvenirs. Right Renkotsu?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Okay guys, we’re leaving now.”

“Bye bye Ginkotsu!” Jakotsu yelled as he jumped down the well.

“Gershhhhh!” Ginkotsu said.


	3. On The Other Side of The Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bankotsu and Jakotsu travel to the future and meet a small boy who may know something about Suikotsu's strange behavior prior to his disappearance.

Bankotsu, Jakotsu, and Renkotsu found themselves at the bottom of a well, but it seemed to be a different well than the one that they had jumped into. They climbed out of the well. It looked like they were in a shrine? They walked out of the shrine cautiously, the sounds coming from outside were strange, and Renkotsu looked concerned. He would never attempt to warn his “friends” of danger, but he unintentionally alerted them to it with his actions.

Outside of the shrine were people wearing strange clothing, much like Kagome’s, and sitting inside of machines that almost resembled Ginkotsu. Renkotsu felt himself starting to get a boner.

“Renkotsu please control yourself,” Bankotsu sighed.

Renkotsu blushed, “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” He huffed. “Anyway, I think we’re going to need to study the people here and try to blend in. We don’t want to go around drawing attention to ourselves like Kagome does in our time- HEY!!!”

Jakotsu was pointing and yelling at a young man who was running in the opposite direction terrified. “WAIT COME BACK!!!!! I ONLY WANT TO CUT YOU!!!!!!”

Renkotsu grabbed Jakotsu by his scarf and pulled him inside the shrine. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing?!?!?” he whisper yelled. “We can’t draw attention to ourselves!” He looked at Jakotsu angrily. “You and Bankotsu are going to camp out in this shrine until I have gathered enough information on these people for us to blend in properly.” Jakotsu started to open his mouth. “DON’T argue. We are never going to find Suikotsu if we are on the run. Now if you will excuse me, I have some investigating to do.” Renkotsu walked out of the shrine. He looked at Bankotsu “keep an eye on Jakotsu, and STAY INSIDE!”

“Fine.” Bankotsu walked back inside while Renkotsu found a good hiding place where he could observe the locals.

Jakotsu and Bankotsu sat in silence. “So,” Jakotsu said quietly. His eyes lit up, “wanna play tag?”

“Jakotsu how the hell do you play tag with only two people?”

“TAG YOU’RE IT!!!” Jakotsu started running.

“HEY!” Bankotsu ran after him. “TAG YOU’RE IT!!!!!”  
An old man in “normal” clothing ran into the shrine. “HEY WHAT ARE YOU KIDS DOING IN MY SHRI- WAIT A SECOND YOU AREN’T KIDS!!!!!! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE!?!?!?!!!!”

Bankotsu and Jakotsu froze.

“LOOK BANKOTSU!!! THIS GUY LOOKS NORMAL!!!! DID YOU COME OUT OF THE WELL TOO OLD MAN??!?!!?!?”

“I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT!!!! I AM THE OWNER OF THIS SHRINE AND I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING HERE!!!!”

Bankotsu looked at Jakotsu and then back at the old man. “We came out of the well.”

“Oh! Are you friends of Kagome then? Well, come inside, I’ll make you some tea.”

The three of them walked into the house “These two are friends of Kagome!”

A woman with short hair, dressed like the people outside, walked into the room. “Oh, hello! I’ve always wondered when I would meet more of Kagome’s friends. I was worried that she didn’t have any. Speaking of Kagome, where is she?”

“She crossed over before we did, by the time we got here she was already gone.” Bankotsu sipped his tea.

“So… What are your names? How long will you be staying?”

“I’m Bankotsu, and that’s Jakotsu. We’ll be on this side of the well until we can find our friend Suikotsu.” Jakotsu looked annoyed, and definitely did not seem like he was in the mood for conversation.

“We can help you if you like, what does your friend look like?”

“See that’s the problem, he has a split personality so no one can say what he’ll be looking or acting like right now. Before he was acting really weird, like weirder than Jako-”

“HEY”

“Anyway he wasn’t acting like either of the Suikotsus we know. He was crawling around on all fours and making some kind of gurgling growling noise, and then he just kind of plopped down the well.”  
“Wow! Your friend sounds just like a platypus!!!” Shouted a very excited little boy who looked like Kagome. “We learned about them in school last week, they’re the only mammals who lay eggs!!!!”

“Uh, that’s cool and all kid but what’s a mammal?” Bankotsu asked with a confused expression.

Everyone turned their attention to the front door as Kagome made her way inside complaining about her butt hurting and asking her mom to run a bath for her. She looked around the room and realized that Bankotsu and Jakotsu were in her house and apparently having a friendly afternoon tea with her family.

“Oh, Kagome you’re home!” Said the woman with the short hair. “Some of your friends from the feudal era are here. They say they’re looking for a missing friend, you didn’t happen to see him while you were out did you?”

Kagome continued to stare silently at the scene she had just walked into. She took a deep breath and then fell over.

“KAGOME!!!!!!” Yelled the old man, the woman, and the little boy all at the same time. Bankotsu and Jakotsu excused themselves.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Well that was just as irritating as I expected it would be” mumbled Jakotsu as he and Bankotsu walked away from the house.

“What do you think a platypus looks like, Jakotsu?”

Jakotsu sighed

“Hey, what’s up with you? You’ve seemed upset since we got inside Kagome’s house. Are you really missing Suikotsu that much?”

“Ughhhhh you wouldn’t get it Bankotsu. That cursed woman has taken MY darling Inuyasha as her lover!!! I don’t want to spend another second in her presence, let alone in her place of residence. And what was with all of those people acting like they knew us? I don’t know them, and I don’t want to know them! That kid looks way too much like Kagome and the woman is too happy for someone forced to share a residence with her. The old man is okay though.”

“Well, I suppose if you feel so strongly about it you don’t have to go back. I however do intend to go back. I need to know more about this ‘platypus’ that the boy spoke of. It could lead us to Suikotsu.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Uh, you wanna know about platypi?” Said a small boy who looked a lot like Kagome.

“No, I wanna know about platypuses.” Bankotsu replied.

“Uh, the plural form of the word platypus is platypi dude.” Said the kid.

“What’s a plural?” Bankotsu looked irritated.

Just then Kagome walked into the room.

“Sota! What are you doing talking to Bankotsu?! You should be doing your homework!”

“Sorry sis, he wanted to know about platypi.”

“Why would anyone other than you want to know about those stupid egg laying-”

“HEY SUIKOTSU IS NOT STUPID! HE JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE A DOCTOR!” Bankotsu was beyond irritated, he was pissed. No one would insult one of his friends on his watch. Unless that “friend” was Mukotsu, fuck that guy, stupid bitch ass rapist old man, ugly stupid fuckfa- Bankotsu’s thoughts were interrupted.

“I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT SUIKOTSU, NOW WILL YOU LEAVE MY LITTLE BROTHER ALONE SO HE CAN DO HIS HOMEWORK?!?!?!?”

“Ugh, fine, will you teach me about these ‘egg laying mammals’?” 

“Yes” Kagome huffed, “I’ll take you to the library but only after you take off your armor. I don’t want people staring at us.”

“What’s a library?”

“Well, I guess you’ll find out, won’t you?” She snapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update this, I know my many fans have been in pure agony waiting for the next chapter. I'll try to roll out the next chapter a little quicker.


End file.
